Bar-B-Que

Why is barbecued meat the greatest food on earth, without question? It's not just grilled meat that is so magical. It has to be covered with the BBQ sauce; it is the combination of the two ingredients that create the sweet, smoky, meat-based ambrosia.

Yes, I realize that there are many different approaches to BBQ sauce. My point is, that they are all delicious. No, let me retract that comment. Arby's Sauce, which I think is supposed to resemble barbecue sauce, is gross. I can think of many different brands of floor cleaning solution that are more delicious than Arby's sauce. Pine-Sol is one of them. Creamy Pine-Sol, not the amber liquid kind. I think the best kind of BBQ sauce is the sweeter kind, but I am not opposed to any variety, whether it be spicy or more tangy. This brings me to the 3 places I enjoy most for barbecued meats. Ironically, 2 of them are in Utah County. Why is that ironic? Because everyone knows that there's nothing good to eat in Utah County. Except for India Garden.

The SmokeHouse, which is located on University Avenue in Provo, just up from Center Street (as well as in that strip Mall in Orem on University Parkway) is one of the places that offers divinely prepared meats. Not only that, though, but they allow you to apply the sauce yourself. As if that weren't enough, they give you 3 different kinds of sauces to pour over your specially chosen meat. Sweet/Honey BBQ sauce, Spicy BBQ sauce, and Honey Mustard. I prefer a 70/30 mix of Sweet/Spicy.

The Brick Oven, which I realize is known for pizza, has one of the greatest Hawaiian BBQ Chicken subs on earth. It has pineapple. Also, it comes in a cardboard box with chips, one tablespoon of pasta salad, and a cookie.

Now, onto Salt Lake County. Zupa's in Draper has a related Hawaiian BBQ chicken sandwich that is prepared on ciabatta bread. It is delicious, but beware of the overly pierced and tattooed youngsters working behind the counter. Also, it takes 47 hours to get through the line. They have one register, which is run by anemic hamsters, not electricity. The hamsters are anemic because it's dark inside the register, and they only feed them iceberg lettuce. I'm getting waaaaay off track from my original thesis, which is that BBQ foods are all delicious. Even BBQ Pringles. Oh, and BBQ chicken pizza is fantastic, except for the fact that cheese makes my sinuses explode. But that is another blog entry for another time.

There are many other places in Utah that serve BBQ meats. Sugarhouse Barbecue is one of them. Famous Daves in Fort Union is another. If any of you (ever read this blog entry, and) know of any additional places I should visit as a connoisseur of BBQ foods, please comment and let me know.

What I am trying to say here is not that it's hard to screw up a BBQ meat sandwich, but that if someone does it right, all other foods in the world slowly fade away until the only thing left is you and your BBQ sandwich. Mmmmmm, Barbecued things.

Read this to find out more about BBQ sauce.

Or this.

Or this.